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The queen

Agent 47 leading a troop of Purple Shirt agents into battle.

UNWD desk agents, also known as purple-shirt agents, are UNWD agents who do not qualify for going on missions, or simply prefer not to. These agents are normally not as extremely powerful as the numbered agents, but are in no way less important- they keep the UNWD running from the inside.

'Purple shirts' is a wide term that covers not only desk agents, but also cleaning, kitchen, medical, techncial and security staff. Some purple shirt agents accompany numbered agents on missions as backup, such as Agent ?'s 'boys', led by Agent 47.

Uniform Edit

As it suggests, the usual uniform for desk agents is a purple shirt and purple trousers, roughly the same colour as Jonah Gordonson's. Some agents wear purple berets as well. On the field, they wear purple helmets.

Cleaning/kitchen staff normally wear purple t-shirts, black trousers and white aprons. All UNWD cleaning/kitchen supplies adhere to the colour scheme. Kitchen staff must wear hair nets. Cleaning staff are advised to wear gas masks, but it is not compulsory.

Medical staff must wear purple scrubs with the UNWD logo on the left breast. Long hair must be kept up or in a hair net.

Technical staff (mechanics and engineers) have a much more lax dress code, and often wear whatever they please, as it's only going to get dirty anyway.

Security staff wear the usual desk agent uniform, but always wear helmets with green visors and microphones. They wear trousers with many pockets. While guarding the outside of the base (checking incoming vehicles, and such), security agents wear armoured vests.

Work as a Purple Shirt Edit

Desk agents Edit

Desk agents normally do work on computers, often with accounting or economics, checking public responses, and working out how to make the UNWD more efficient and effective. They shear off dead weight and keep the organisation running smoothly.

Higher-ranking desk agents monitor areas through the NEST and deploy agents to deal with incidents. They make reports on high-crime areas and use this information to sort out the problem at its roots. Extra-determined desk agents can be hand-selected by numbered agents (or 'field agents') to go on missions, either as scouts or backup.

Cleaning staff Edit

They keep the place spick and span, inside and out. This includes cleaning up graffiti on the outside (namely the huge recurring WOM that keeps re-appearing on the easternmost wall), cleaning up the corridors, tidying the barracks, clearing up toxic waste, and polishing the deadly secret weapons. They are heavily respected, as it takes guts to do such a dirty job.

Kitchen staff Edit

The UNWD's kitchen staff is trained to deal with the widely varied dietary requirements of the agents. A hearty meal means a happy hero, and so this staff is trained with three mottos- waste not want not, a sprig of parsley solves everything, and it's got to be edible to somebody. They are second-in-command when it comes to purple-shirt defense tactics, second only to the security staff, as they are trained with sharp things and hot things.

Kitchen staff have to work around-the-clock, often in rotating shifts, as agents in the barracks have a tendency to sneak off for midnight feasts, or midnight eating contests.

Medical staff Edit

Medical staff are among the most respected agents, as they possess the courage to get up-close and personal with some of the most fearsome members. They come in four variations- physicians, who diagnose minor irks and prescribe medicines; therapists, who talk agents through bad times; surgeons, who patch up the worse-for-wear after missions gone awry, and paramedics, who patch up the worse-for-wear during missions gone awry.

The medical staff are highly capable and valuable, and are led by the mysterious Dr. October, who is the head of medical staff.

Technical staff Edit

These agents range in abilities, from computer engineers who fix up the NEST after an unfortunate crash, to mechanics who keep the armada of jets, choppers and cars ready for action. They keep the base kitted up with the latest technology, such as slug-accessible ramps and neat vending machines.

These computer wizards and automobile enthusiasts keep the UNWD on the ball, on the road and online, but are responsible for incidents such as the Lockdown of '07, where programmers equipped the NEST with an AI that would put it on 'Autopilot', which resulted in the AI achieving sentience and locking everyone in the base while attempting to destroy all crime itself, and also the incident where all the lights were replaced with disco lights.

Security staff Edit

Security staff tend to be at high risk, ensuring that nobody gets into anywhere they shouldn't be without permission. They guard every sector of the UNWD, and security measures have been increased since the incident where Slug-Man managed to get into the most heavily-guarded room in the base.

Their work often includes checking incoming parcels and deliveries, running security checks, guarding the most top-secret sectors and protecting the UNWD in case of a raid. They are trained to resist hypnosis, bribery and sleeping gas.

Field Agents Edit

Despite the fact that most Purple Shirt Agents are tasked with protecting and maintaining the UNWD Base, there is a small percentage of Purple Shirts who qualify as suitable field agents. There are two primary variations of field agent, the first being 'assault' agents, also referred to as 'riot troopers' or simply 'soldiers'. A prime example of UNWD soldiers is Agent ?'s 'boys', who accompany him in missions when necessary. These soldiers are trained with a variety of weapons, ranging from shotguns to sniper rifles, and tend to choose their loadouts based on their personal preferences.

The second variation are the Infiltrators. These specially trained agents are fitted with cybernetic implants upon completion of their training, which allows them to make proper use of their signature helmets. Whilst the security staff and the soldiers are known to wear visored helmets, the Infiltrators wear helmets that encompass the head, with two large glass sections marking their eyes. The Infiltrators are mostly uniform with their loadouts, with each Infiltrator carrying a single, silenced pistol and a plethora of grenades, ranging from smoke to EMP. Infiltators are allowed to make changes to their arsenal, so long as it meets the standards of the rest of their equipment. Infiltrators, unlike soldiers, are known to usually work alone, and are tasked with breaking in and out of dangerous places for whatever reason the mission states.

The UNWD is currently in the process of upgrading the Infiltrators helmets to make the technology more compact and less conspicuous. Aiden Harper's glasses are the result of this research, though only a prototype.

Promotions and ranks Edit

Agents can be promoted from purple-shirt to numbered agent, although it is not necessarily a promotion. Some prefer to work in the base, but agents who develop superpowers or show potential for becoming a field agent are given the opportunity to test their skill in the field, and are given the choice to be promoted to field agent.

There are also promotions in the separate fields.

Desk agents can be promoted from purple polo ➙ purple sweatshirt ➙ purple beret ➙ purple suit shirt.

There is no ranking for cleaning staff. They draw straws to see who gets the dirtiest job. There is always a Trash Monarch, though, and they get the last say. Trash Monarchs can be identified by a binbag cape and mop sceptre.

Kitchen staff are generally the same rank, but there is always a head chef and menu organiser.

The head of medical staff and head surgeon is Dr. October. Medical staff are ranked from 1-10, depending on their skill and ability.

Computer staff come in ranks from 1-10, depending on their ability. Mechanical staff do not have ranks, but have their specialties, and are called upon as needed.

Security staff have ranks that come in levels 1-7. Level 1 Security is the outermost level of security, while Level 7 Security guards the Weapons Containment Unit and Jonah Gordonson. Security guards who show potential in combat are often moved to the 'field agent' department, though this usually takes place at the lower security levels, to avoid too much hassle.

Fields agents follow somewhat of a military system (hence the 'soldier' nickname) though it's unclear which country's system it follows, if not its own, independent system. Soldiers who show impeccable tactical thinking and a knack for surreptitious movement are sometimes promoted to Infiltrators. There have only been a dozen Infiltrators throughout the UNWD's history, excluding Aiden Harper.

Notable promoted desk agents include Abel Robledo, who was promoted to Field Agent on account of his strength, determination and bravado.